Hi there everyone. This is Gregg Gethard. You probably know who I am. I have performed many outstanding roles in my duties in the 6th Borough -- from Zakiyyah the feisty Wawa Clerk, to the Birdman terroristic Eagles fan, to BethAnne the middle-aged woman with a fat vagina and to The Tranny Vampire Werewolf who enjoys giving lap dances to our many thousands of fans.
I get stopped on the street all the time. People always ask me, "Hey, Gregg, how did you get to become so funny?" Or "Hey, Gregg, I love you in the 6th Borough, how can I be more like you?"
The answer as to how I became so funny is simple -- it's a natural gift I have combining my vastly superior skills in language, wordplay, wit and cunning. And the answer as to how you could become more like me is that you probably can't because I am so totally awesome but you could maybe wear more shirts from Kohl's and that might do the trick.
I have been assigned a task by Tabitha (or, as I like to call her, Mistress Midnight) to give you, the thousands of fans which have made us such an integral part of the Philadelphia lifestyle, an inside look at how we're able to do what we do.
OUR WRITING PROCESS
Our writing process is simple. Most of the writing is actually done by Emily. Then, she'll assign us a script she wrote and allows us to change a word or two. Then she lets us share some of the credit with her. She's completely unselfish in that way. And that's how we generate so many sketches and things of that nature. Emily's caring womb.
OUR REHEARSAL PROCESS
Our rehearsals are largely violent affairs. We begin our rehearsals by ordering take-out from a local South Philly "pizza" establishment. However, we can never agree on what we'd like to order. And then, it never fails, but Jason will strike me with a muy Thai backfist that sends me briefly into unconsciousness. And then everyone draws phallic symbols on various parts of my limp body. These guys make me so happy as, through them, I get to relive my childhood.
Shockingly, all our shows are actually improv.