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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Greatest Prank Phone Call I Have Ever Seen

Maybe it's a sign of immaturity. But I think that prank phone calls, along with professional wrestling, prop comedy and boardwalk airbrushing, are amongst the highest of art forms.

I'm an okay prank phone caller. In the NBA, the term "volume shooter" is used to describe guys who score a lot of point but only because they shoot the ball so much. (Think of Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant and Steve Francis.) I am a "volume" prank phone caller. The only ways I have good results in prank phone calls is by making a lot of them.

However, I know of one person who is a true prank phone call artist. That would be The Sixth Borough's own Emily Mcgraw.

In the time I have known Emily, she has proven herself to be a true master of "adult" voices. She somehow can change her voice at anytime she wants. I am incredibly jealous of this, as I can only do two voices: annoying and slightly more annoying.

One night, right as when we getting ready to rehearse, I brought to the table a prank phone call idea that I had taht I knew I would be unable to perform. But the maestro, Emily, stepped up to the plate and delivered a touchdown.

THE VICTIM -- a chain hotel located in West Deptford, NJ.

The front desk operator picks up the phone.
"Hello, this is Whatever Hotel, West Deptford, how may I help you?"

"Uhm, yes, I'm looking for room availability. Somewhere around late October or early November."

"Well, we probably have openings then. Do you know what date exactly?"

"Well, that's a good question. I'm not exactly sure. You see, I'm pregnant and I'm very ashamed of who impregnated me. None of my friends and family know. I've been researching on the Internet and I'm confident I can deliver my baby by myself."

"Uhm... I'll have to check with the manager about that."

"Well, can you answer some questions first?"

"Okay."

"Do you charge for extra towels? I might destroy a few."

"Yes."

"How deep is your tub?"

"They're fairly sizeable."

"Do you have a dumpster on the premises?"

"Yes, in the parking lot."

"GREAT! Well, I'll call you back when I get my due date finalized! Thanks!"

1 comment:

micah said...

This is Emily. It is always nice to be recognized for my important work. It will also be nice when my mom learns how to use google, finds this and will become very confused.