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Friday, June 27, 2008

Obama To Announce Faceless, Drab Democrat As VP

This boring man may be our vice-president

CHICAGO -- Democratic presidential candidate Barak Obama has narrowed down his list of potential vice-presidential candidates to a handful of politicians no one in America will get excited over.

The pool of candidates includes little known Louisville, Kentucky-area attorney general R. David Stengel; Congressman Tim Holden whose district is centered in Pottsville, PA; and former presidential also-ran John Edwards.

"I think we've done a really good job finding candidates who will bore you to tears during the vice-presidential debate," said Obama spokeswoman Jane Zuckerman-Vazquez. "Mr. Obama has been hoping to find someone who can counteract his overwhelming charisma and, with the choices we're down to, we will balance out the rock star excitement he brings to the stage with a total dud."

When reached for comment, Stengel said, "I am honored to be considered for this position by Mr. Obama. I have been proud of my service as serving as the highest elected law enforcement type person in all of greater Louisville. Under my tenure, I have fought some crime. I will bring the same lack of passion and bland speeches to the national stage that I have used when campaigning in greater Louisville."

Hilary Clinton allegedly asked that she not be considered for the post in order to have time to get her pantsuit collection cleaned.

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