Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
STEAL THIS SHOW is back in action at Connie's Ric Rac!
Come out and enjoy your favorite South Philly comedy show hosted by Corey Cohen!
Featuring comedy from:
Only 10 bucks!
Friday, October 23
Doors @ 8pm
You'll laugh, you'll drink, you'll leave!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
"WTF is a Timejawn?"
"It's when time somethings over onto itself!"
Friday, August 21, 2009
We're back from our epic odyssey to the great state of Wisconsin for the Milwaukee Comedy Festival. We came, we saw, we ate sausage, and it was great. There's going to be an article in The Comedians coming out in September about our trip, as well as a mini-documentary premiering at our show in the Philly Fringe Fest, so stay tuned!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Photo taken by C vs. A at The Sixth Borough's "Depression Isn't Just A River In Egypt" at Connie's Ric Rac this past April. We weren't in Chicago.
"It was fun to do it anyway but to the fact that we won a couple of festival trips made it much more worthwhile," said Corey Cohen a day after his group, Philadelphia's THE SIXTH BOROUGH, won not just the Audience but the Judges award at Chicago's Snubfest (presented by Chemically Inbalanced Comedy). With the awards came entrances toMilwaukee's Comedy Festival in August and 2010's Montreal Sketch Festival.
The other award from Snubfest went to Chicago's The Cool Table, who in turn earned entrance into the Philly Sketchfest later this year (dates haven't been announced yet, but best believe we'll be on top of it).
Meanwhile, plans are in the works for a hero's welcome home for The 6B similar to the Philadelphia Phillies victory parade last year (no, not really). They've just made us so proud, sniff.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
After a quick cigarette and another cheeseburger, we were off into the great unknown, to find the fabled lands of Montana...
"Not so fast!" shouted a voice from the darkness adjacent to the lighter area.
The voice was so familiar, I froze. I dropped my cigarette and my cold hands began to sweat. Kurt turned to me.
"Man, that voice is so familar", he said. "Do you have a hand towel I could use?"
"How about you just dry your hands on my blowtorch you alien sac of shit!"
And from the aforementioned darkness stepped Bearded Kurt Russell. And without hesitation, my vagina imploded and then rebuilt itself stronger and more potent than ever.
"You! Narrator! If you value your life, and your newly strengthened front bottom, and if you have any hopes of the real Kurt Russell peeing white into it, then step away from that alien duplicate of me, the real Kurt Russell!"
"But...confused, too many K-Kurt Russells...bulging...", I stumbled at the sight of his excessive chin masculinity. 5 o'clock shaven Kurt Russell grabbed my arm.
"Don't listen to him! He's the alien! Look at the subtle blonde highlights peppered into my fashionably contructed mullet-hair! No alien could duplicate this so accurately!"
Bearded Kurt Russell shot a blast of hot fire into the air. "Enough! Ok! Ok! If you're not an alien, then you won't mind taking a little test to make sure!"
"Bring it!" 5 o'clock shaven Kurt Russell demanded.
"Alright! I'm going to shoot you with my blowtorch. If you start to burn, you're an alien. If you're truly Kurt Russell, your coating of chest sweat will repel the flames. I'll go second."
"Makes sense", I confirmed, and readied my camera phone.
Two shots screamed out of the darkness, catching both Kurt Russells in the head, exploding Kurt Russell brains all over the cheeseburger tree.
Hence the Big Mac was born.
I screamed, and turned to run. A voice came from the darkness. Again.
"Don't be a pussy."
And from the black stepped a figure dressed in all...black. It was Eye-patch Kurt Russell.
"They were both aliens. I'm the real Kurt Russell. Look." He pointed down at their bodies which were now just steaming piles of green diarrhea. He gently kicked one of the piles.
"See? It's not Kurt. It's imitation."
I prodded one of the piles with a stick and flung some of the green diarrhea at the cheeseburger tree. Now we had Whoppers.
"But how do I know if you're the real Kurt Russell?"
He picked up the blowtorch and shot himself in the chest. The flames bounced right off.
"They were trying to get you to go to Montana, weren't they?"
"Yea! We need to find the Luddites! You see, after the internet blew-up, all the useless crap inside it, things like videos of dogs running into walls and peoples opinions, they all went into our heads and now we're having nightmares, and we have to---!"
"Slow down. Slow down. First of all, there aren't any more humans in Montana. They're all aliens. Those two were going to take you there so you could carry their alien babies. Good thing they didn't have a chance to have sex with you yet, seeing as how you just met them and all."
Hesitant, I responded.
"You're right! Good thing! After this though we definitely should celebrate and go eat some sushi. And push me down an escalator. You got a cigarette?"
"No. But I do have cigarellachinos. Mexican cigarettes. They're basically tacquitos, except you smoke them. Now, lets stop wasting time. We have alot to do before we stop the bad internet dreams."
The diarrhea carcass of Bearded Kurt Russell lunged at Eye-patch Kurt Russell. Eye-patch Kurt answered with a shotgun blast to the mouth.
"Now let's get the fucking fuck out of here..."
Monday, June 22, 2009
"The Spirit turned away just as the Boy was sucked through the portal, spiraling past clocks and trippy 70's colors..."
You got his number! number...number...number....asshole....."
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Boy ran and ran. He tripped, then fell. Then, again with the running. He ran until he was in the woods, and all was dark around him. There he entered a clearing. He collapsed to the ground, tired, hungry, and ugly.
"Why!? Why must I look like this?" he shouted into the still black air.
The boy jumped up, wiping his feet free of tears with his boner fingers. "Who is there?" he asked, with fear in his voice and bird shit in his hair.
"Are you a g-g-g-ghost?" asked the Boy, frightened enough that his ears retracted into his chest.
"Are you ugly-um?" asked the Spirit rhetorically, as both he and the Boy clearly knew the answer was yes, and it did not need to be explained, especially to an intelligent reader such as yourself.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
And now, 6B's on-going, ever changing, funny ha-ha story. One of us starts, and another continues. And continues. And continues. Crazy right? Read it.
"The kids at school say that my Daddy must have sneezed when he came!", snuffed the Boy with a stomach for a face to his Mother.
"What did I tell you about using that type of language?! Now get your nose off the table young man!", Mother snapped slamming the pasta strainer on the side of the stove.
"That's what I'm saying Mom! If I were a normal kid, I would have my elbows on the table! But no, look at me everyone! I have to roll up my sleeve to check for boogers!"
"Speaking of which, why don't you reach over here and tell me how my sauce smells."
"I don't want to! Plus I'm not hungry anyway!"
"Oh who are you kidding?! I can hear your head growling from here!" She sips the spatula of sauce. "Hmmm, needs more Gatorade."
"And then at recess, Matthew Guntherclit gave me a Wet Willy and I had to go the bathroom to stop the bleeding!"
"Poor Matthew Guntherclit. I take it you never told him that you hear with your butthole? What a shame...for him."
"But what about me Ma?! Every time the class bell rings, I poop a little!"
"Look! You are as God made you. And radiation. If we had known that our house was built on an ancient Indian nuclear power plant, then we would have never moved here! But here he are, twelve years later, one loving family, with a son that can wink his nipples! Now I think that's pretty special."
"Oh, you just don't understand! And I hate your sauce!"
Then the Boy with a stomach for a face ran out into the backyard, tears streaming from his toenails.---
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Romantic Mix from 6th Borough Comedy on Vimeo.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The wait is over. The Sixth Borough Live Album is finally here. Originally recorded on 1/31/09 on Nexus Radio. You can download the Mp3's here.
1.) Intro/The New Romans
2.) Ghost Phone
3.) Reading Monkey
4.) Gus Musterino/Depression Sketch
6.) Emily's Song
8.) Opium Den
9.) Emergency Broadcast/ Gust Musterino 2/ Mikey and Eli Go to Rita's
10.) The Overlook
11.) Retarded Disease/ End
Here are some images of that day, courtesy Jeremy Tenenbaum.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Corey hosted the show, as usual, and he read strange "inspirational messages" from a book written by a stoned hippie. Words to remember, "Are bugs special?" Chew on that.
We were treated to Pat Kelly's famous quiz show at this past show. This time his contestants were a bit more cooperative, perhaps because they were from South Jersey. Pat asked hard-hitting questions like "What is your favorite slang word for vagina?" The guests didn't go home empty handed, either, they were all rewarded with fantastic dollar store toys.
Tabitha and Nora performed as the musical duo Sava and Songo, Siberian refugee twins. They sang about trains, tacos, and also played a Nancy Sinatra cover. Its almost impossible to tell them apart, they're that alike.
Jason Vorhees kills, and Jason Messina KILLED. This was truly a treat - a rare chance to see the infamous star of Friday the 13th let loose and talk about stuff that irks him. Seinfeld, eat your heart out!
Emily and Micah closed the show with The McGraw Music Machine, performing a new song about tazers (did you know that they are illegal in Philly, but nowhere else?) and a hit song about their cat, Regis, and his shady past. Keep your whiskers clean, boy, and your tail held high.
Thanks to all who came to the show, we had a great time! See you next month!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Brian and Paul of Secret Pants played "Bush or Batman?" with Corey's parents. His mom won. Go Harriet!
The fancy NYC comics that Corey allegedly booked dropped out. Luckily we had some great jokes from Joey and Annie!
Tabitha did some "Standup Jazzedy".
Emily helped increase everyone's awareness of RUNTS, better known as "genital terrors", as The Wine Diva. Cheers!
Jason made a RUNTS video, and Corey creepily loomed in the background.
The heat in the Ric Rac was broken, so everyone was very cold. It was like the olden times. Corey then attempted to give away his baby, Keanu, as a prize to the Feeko Brothers.
His wife was not happy. Yes, Corey is dressed as Captain Jean Luc Picard.
Thanks to everyone who came out and presented videos! We hope to see you at next months show! Make it so.
Friday, January 16, 2009
It's awards season again, and the only community of entertainers more self-indulgent than filmmakers is, you guessed it, comedians. So in the venerable tradition of celebrating those around you for being in the same industry, Steal This Show is proud to present the first (and maybe only) local alternative comedy awards show of people I know: The Runts!
The ceremony will be held LIVE
January 16th - 8pm
@ Connie's Ric Rac
1132 S. 9th Street
$10, BYOB 21 +
Members of The Sixth Borough
Videos and Appearances by:
The Sixth Borough
The Feeko Brothers
Dave Walk and Doogie Horner