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Monday, June 22, 2009

"WDTRC" --- PART 3

"The Spirit turned away just as the Boy was sucked through the portal, spiraling past clocks and trippy 70's colors..."


When we last left our organally challenged hero, he was spiraling past clocks and trippy 70's colors which could only mean one thing. He was headed back in time! To 1870! Oversized pocketwatches as big as his stomach, and crazy colors like gray, brown, sepia-tone, and brown again, whizzed around him sending him into a tizzy. "Help!" he shouted, but the sound was drowned out by a thousand phonographs playing "When Johnny comes marching home", from the Die Hard with a Vengeance soundtrack, in rounds. And just before The Boy with a stomach for a Face lost consciousness, a giant Jeremy Irons face appeared and said, "He was an asshole!
You got his number! number...number...number....asshole....."


The boy with a stomach for a face awoke, rubbed his nipples, and squinted up at the sun. A figure stepped over him blocking the light. "Do ye have any fish?"

"What? No. Where am I? Did you just call me an asshole?"

"Mine inquiry preceded your own."


"I asked ye if ye have any fish to eat."

"No, do I look like I have any fish to eat?"

"No. Ye looks as though your pappy must've enjoyed a thorough nose blowing at the moment he dripped seed into your mother's sin den."

"Who told you to say that?! Was it Matthew Guntherclit?! I don't care what he says! I told him not to stick his finger in my butt-ear!"

"So, can ye teach me how to fish?"

"No! Why would I teach you how to fish? You just made fun of me! And how come you're dressed like a person from the 1870s? Specifically."

"I might ask ye the same thing. For instance, why does your shirt appear to have purposeful tears in it and drawings of skulls that can fly? Are ye a hobo demon? Possibly a low-income specter?"

"No! This is my new t-shirt I got so the other kids won't make fun of me. It's from the hippest most coolest store in the mall! Hollister! Yea!"

"What did ye say? Repeat that."


"The thing before it."


"Too far."


"Yes! What does ye know of the mysterious Hollister?"

And the Boy with a stomach for a face thought for a moment, carefully choosing what he would say next...

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